Bad Lieutenant

"Didn't you see the posted signs?" the stern officer demands. You are completely speechless. She glares at you through her mirrored shades. No words come out when you open your mouth to speak. "The maximum speed limit on this street is 30 miles per hour. You blew past me like a bat out of Hell." How do you respond to someone who is making no sense? Is she confusing you with another motorist? You quickly glance around the immediate area and find it to be deserted, just like it was ten minutes ago when you stopped here to eat your lunch. "How could you miss me parked right there on my motorcycle?" she asks contemptuously. "I was clocking your speed." She was on a motorcycle? In that uniform? Without giving you a chance to respond the officer orders you to slide into the passenger seat. She jumps behind the wheel and commandeers your 1973 Ford Pinto. "I'm taking you into the station." she snarls as she floors the accelerator with her high-heeled boot. The Pinto coughs and sputters and you go lurching down the street with this obviously deranged, scantily clad cop. Upon arrival at headquarters she jerks you from the car, handcuffs you, and leads you into the building. Oddly, - or perhaps not, considering how your day seems to be going - the squad room has boarded-up windows and looks nearly abandoned. The officer propels you down a long, labyrinthine hallway until you find yourself inside of a surprisingly comfortable, well-appointed room. After chaining you to a leather couch she says: "Let me introduce myself. I am Lieutenant Danielle. Some refer to me as the 'Bad Lieutenant'. I have a special way of dealing with the scofflaws who pahttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gifss through my town." The hairs on the back of your neck stand on end. Your mind seems to detach itself from the present circumstances. Lieutenant Danielle sneers at your obvious discomfiture and begins unbuckling her belt. From a great distance a welcome sense of relief slowly infiltrates your consciousness as you realize that she is carrying no weapons other than her sharp tongue and a lascivious gleam in her eye..

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